Archive | June, 2010

What Do You Think About Girls Wearing Prom Makeup to School Everyday?

30 Jun

Dear Losers,

What do you think about people wearing prom makeup to school everyday?

Jennie, 17

Dear Reader,

Prom makeup is good for a few occasions.

A. Prom.

B. 5 years later when you look at your prom pictures and scream,                                 “WHAT THE &%#@* was I thinking?!”

C. Clogged pores

D. Acne

Yes, prom makeup can even look bad at prom. So lets spare ourselves the trauma of looking like a trainwreck every day. We all want to look pretty. And in high school a lot of us feel pretty insecure, instead of pretty. But wearing tons of makeup is not the answer at any stage of life.

Plus, when you wear prom makeup everyday, people start to expect it. So that day when you sleep through your alarm and show up in mascara and lip gloss like everyone else, you are going to feel naked because everyone is used to you wearing the entire MAC fall collection.

I remember a few girls in high school wore a lot of makeup, as if they had just come from a Vogue covershoot, instead of precal. Not only did I wonder how they had the time and energy, I also wondered why?????

I know girls feel a lot of pressure to look perfect when they see everyone on TV, magazines, and the plexi glass board in the bathroom stall look well, perfect. But the models look like that because they have a whole team of people doing the lighting, clothes, hair, makeup and airbrushing. They even tell the girl how to pose so her arm doesn’t look fat. If we all had a team of people devoted to our hair, makeup and arm fat, we’d all look like movie stars by second period.

Watch this video from The Dove Self-Esteem Fund

Keep it simple. Then when you feel like glamming it up, you can, and people will notice. It’s fun to get dolled up, but it’s a hassle if you need to do it every day. No one is going to judge you for not wearing fake eyelashes to the SAT.

And for girls who prom it up everyday, what do they do for the actual prom? They usually look exactly the same.

“Oh, Jenny! You look…hmm well… exactly like you do in homeroom!”

Jenny doesn’t get to have the fun of making it special like everyone else. It’s just another day at the Stila counter. You’ve heard it before and you’re going to hear it again. Less is more. (insert eye rolling )

So unless you have a part time job as a circus clown that you have to get to after school, put the eyeliner down.

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How Do You Know When Boys Are Lying? But They Mostly Are.

28 Jun

Dear Losers,

How do you know when boys are lying? But they mostly are.

Angela, 16

Dear Reader,

I like that you asked a question and then took the liberty of answering it. Yes, they mostly are, so my job here is done. Next question?

No. It’s not true that boys are mostly liars. Liars come in all shapes, sizes and genders.

So don’t assume it’s just boys. Because when you do, you might adjust/lower your standards for boys. If you think, oh all guys lie, then you’re more likely to be okay with dating guys who lie, and more likely to continue dating a huge liar.

You think, boys will be boys, and boys will be liars and there is nothing I can do to avoid it. Then the next thing you know, you’re excusing yourself for dating a liar, and being asked to star in Maury’s “Secret Paternity Tests Revealed!” And you think what?! He might have a baby AND a baby mama? Oh well that’s cool, all boys lie. Plus, I get to meet Maury!!

Back to your question. There is obviously no litmus test I can give you to tell whether a guy is lying or not. Wouldn’t that be awesome though?

Hi, Johnny, can you just swab this on your inner cheek? Don’t worry about it, it’s nothing!

There is no such test. Even lie detector tests are unreliable. So this is where that judgment of yours comes in handy, assuming you have any. If Johnny Suspicious always has some crazy story about how he ended up in whatever outlandish situation, or with his lips locked to whatever girl (see: It was mouth to mouth resuscitation! She saved my life!) Well, then it’s probably safe to conclude he’s a liar.

And whether you can prove he’s lying or not, do you really want to be dating somebody that seems like a huge liar? Someone that is constantly making you second guess yourself? Someone that makes you feel uncomfortable, worried or insecure? Or someone who’s baby Mama is inviting you on Maury?!

Oh hell no.

I Wanna Do Hoodrat Stuff with My Friends

2 Jun

If you haven’t seen this video, it’s must see youtube.

Did you watch it yet? Okay great. Now for the pop quiz. Exactly how many misdemeanors did this young man commit?

I love this video NOT because this boy put people’s lives in danger. Because he did, and that is terrible. I hope he was seriously punished, and that he learned his lesson. His Grandma looked like she meant business, so he’s probably peeling potatoes in military school by now. Or worse.

But the kid is seriously hilarious!  And in his naive honesty, he brings up a good point.

We all want to do hoodrat stuff with our friends.

Most of us are smart enough to not admit it, especially to the cops, but I guess hoodrat children are honest, principled people afterall.

Yes we all have a little mischief in us. Though my friends and I thought hoodrat was prank calling and doorbell ditching. Then we thought we were really hoodrat when we advanced to TP-ing and sidewalk chalking. We were hardly hardened criminals, but we did engage in a full on prank war with our friends, that probably would have never ended if we didn’t all move away and get lives. But at the age of 7, or 17, I never had the hoodrat itch to steal my g-mas car and parooze the town, running into parked cars and taking down mailboxes.

What I am getting at is this: there are plenty of hoodrat things to do that aren’t incredibly, insanely dangerous. In case you’re wondering what I mean by dangerous:

Dangerous:  Adj., Stealing your grandmother’s car at 7 years old, or at any age where you don’t have a Class C license, and hitting a bunch of parked cars.

He’s extremely lucky he hit parked cars and not parked people.

P.S. How does a 7 year old reach the gas pedal?!