What do you do if a date is really bad and you want to leave?
Depends on what kind of bad. If it’s just awkward bad, or you don’t have butterflies bad, I suggest you stay. Not every date is going to be great, or fun. We all have nightmare dating stories, so you might as well start collecting your own.
Here’s one of mine, for inspiration.
I once went on a date with a guy a few years my junior.
I’ll admit I was hesitant, but I didn’t want to be closed minded and yes, okay, he worked for a country music magazine and said he could get me free tickets. So I went.
I was not expecting anything fancy, but after driving 30 minutes to meet him, I expected something a bit more noteworthy than Fuddruckers, a chain in my OWN TOWN.
To make matters worse, he acted like a huge jerk, bragging about himself the whole time, and not asking me any questions. It was as if he was an actor performing a monologue, but one that was not interesting. I grinned and bared his behavior, even after he answered a phone call from another girl, flirted with the girl at length, then hung up and said the girl was TOTALLY stalking him.
Uh yeah, you can’t stalk the willing, Buddy.
Semantics aside, after what seemed like an eternity, the date ended. And he didn’t even walk me to my car, or watch me walk to my car. No, no. That would have been too easy. Well-mannered, even. Instead, he dropped me off at the entrance to the parking garage.
And then he burned out.
I know what you’re thinking. How could I let the man of my dreams walk, excuse me, burn out of my life like that?
Anyway, yes good manners dictate that you would stay on the date even if you want to leave. Afterall, it is the classy thing to do because no one likes to be stood up, or ditched.
But there are a few fun exceptions. 🙂
1. If you are being mistreated in any way, leave. If Johnny Jerk is being mean, rude or out of control, you do not need to stay. I probably could have ditched that toddler at Fuddruckers, but I guess I really wanted my Oreo milkshake?
2. If you don’t feel safe, leave. Chances are you don’t know this person well, s0 don’t feel obligated to hangout with a stranger if they seem creepy, dangerous or ill-intentioned. Trust your instincts. And if you don’t know the person well, suggest meeting them on the date.
If you came together, and you’re getting creepo vibes, say something came up, and call someone to pick you up. Always have a cab programmed in your phone as well in case all of your friends are on bad dates too. And tell your friends and family exactly where you are going before you leave.
Otherwise, grin and bear it. It’s a first date, and there doesn’t have to be a second. And actually, you can avoid agonizing and awkward dates by taking control of the situation in the beginning and keeping your plans short and simple.
Don’t commit your whole evening or day to a guy you barely know. Stick to dinner or a movie, not both. Coffee or ice cream even works. If you’re having the time of your lives you crazy kids can always extend the date or plan another one.
And if you don’t want to extend the date, or you want to cut the date short, you can simply say you have other plans. No need for a crazy excuse or an iPhone app that calls your phone. And this way you were polite and stayed for the whole date, even though it was short. See how smart(/sneaky) you are!
Just steer clear of first dates that sound like, I was thinking we could go hiking and find this hidden waterfall, skip rocks and talk about our childhoods, cross the Bridge to Terabithia, then take the tram over to the Getty and find the Kogi Truck downtown.
And he’s going to bring you back when? NEXT WEEK?!
In conclusion, choose your dates wisely, plan your dates wisely, and never hope for free concert tickets.
And if you’re stuck on a bad date, just remember…. the worst dates make the best stories.