Spoiler alert: Romeo wasn’t a jerk to Juliet.

4 Oct

(Unless I’m missing something?)

Shown: Leonardo DiCaprio, Claire Danes. 20th Century Fox/Photofest. © 20th Century Fox


So if you are in a tumultuous relationship and your boyfriend mistreats you, you are not Romeo and Juliet. This may sound like a no brainer, but we’ve probably all seen girls romanticize unhealthy relationships, claiming, It feels just like The Notebook! Romeo and Juliet! Bella and Edward/Jacob!

Are you kidding? We all love a good love story, but let’s get our facts straight.

Romeo and Juliet couldn’t stay together because their families hated each other and kept them apart. Not because Romeo was a huge douche and always made Juliet cry.

Help! Our families want to swordfight again!

It’s the same obstacle in the Notebook. Noah and Ali couldn’t stay together not because Noah had no manners and ditched Ali at The Valentine’s Day Dance. It was because Ali’s mom was a huge snob and hid all Noah’s love letters.

I'm snobby! You can tell by my sunglasses!

In Twilight, Bella and Edward can’t stay together because he will eat her or turn her into a vampire, or something. Not because he is an insecure tool that always brags about himself and never walks Bella to her car.

I won't walk you to your car! I'll fly you to your car!

Are you noticing a pattern here?

I think people confuse their bad relationships with great romances because there is one thing their relationships have in common with iconic love stories- drama.

But having drama in your relationship does not catapult you to The Notebook status. Most classic romances are based on the fact that they would do anything to be together, but there is a huge obstacle keeping them apart (again see: their families have hated each other since 26 B.C., or one person in the relationship is a vampire).

In real life bad relationships, the drama stems from one or more parties being rude, selfish or douchebaggish, not immortal. The couples that insult and mistreat each other/ break up/get back together/repeat are the opposite of Romeo and Juliet.

Unromeo and Unjuliet can’t get along in normal circumstances, where there aren’t huge obstacles. They aren’t jumping through hoops to be together, building each other houses, or writing each other letters for years.

"Sorry, they were out of flowers."

They are fighting in Applebees over who should pay for the chicken tenders!

Now I’m not saying you can’t break up and get back together. Or that you can never fight. No person and no relationship is perfect.

But please, for the love of Romeo, Juliet, Noah and Ali, don’t romanticize your unhealthy relationship and think you are the next Edward and Bella. Unless your families are pulling you apart, or your boyfriend’s a vampire. Then we can talk.

Sidenote: I always wonder what these movies would look like without those obstacles. They would probably be insanely boring. If Romeo and Juliet’s families got along swimmingly, they probably would have gotten married at 16, had two kids, got divorced by 20 and fought over custody for the rest of their lives.

How romantic!


One Response to “Spoiler alert: Romeo wasn’t a jerk to Juliet.”


  1. I’m 15 with my first boyfriend and I don’t know how to tell my parents! What should I do?! « Stop Being a Loser - April 30, 2011

    […] Romeo Wasn’t  a Jerk to Juliet  http://stopbeingaloser.org/2010/10/04/romeoandjuliet/ […]

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