What’s Your Tiny Hat? …… Fashion Advice from the Frighteningly Unfashionable

8 Dec


Please watch this video. Not only because the rest of the post won’t make sense, but because it’s hilarious! I think this sketch shows just how funny and silly fashion trends can be. We can become consumed by something as stupid as a tiny hat if we are told it’s all the rage. Then we are competing to get the tiniest hat imaginable.

Now I am not making fun of tiny hats. I love a good obnoxious, unpretentious accessory (see: Katy Perry heart sunglasses).We probably all have a tiny hat, something that seems totally stupid, but that we like anyway. So wear that tiny hat! Rock it like Amy Poehler did. I know, it’s scary to go out on a limb because people, especially teens are resistant to things and people that are different. (See: So in right now, Bullying)

Oh, this old hat?

So when you show up in your tiny hat equivalent, or in an actual tiny hat, they might be like Oh my GOD! What are you wearing?! AHAHAHAHAHA That’s the stupidest thing I have ever seen!

And then the next day, they will be wearing the exact same thing.

Or they will be like, Oh my GOD! What are you wearing?! That’s the greatest thing I have ever seen!

And then the next day, they will be wearing the exact same thing.

This might seem strange, but often positive and negative reactions to something new can result in the same thing – a trend. Sometimes it just takes people awhile to adjust to new stimuli/trends/people. And other times they just start liking something because everyone else does.

You may not believe us, but you will see it happen over and over again. A few examples of the “tiny hats” from our uncool lives:

1. *Nysnc. We loved them from their Tearing up my Heart days when Chris Kirkpatrick had weird pineapple hair.

I don't know why my hairstyle didn't catch on!

They were not the “it” band then. Not many people liked them or if they did, they didn’t want to admit it. They liked the creepy Backstreet Boys or punk or emo or whatever. To each her own music tastes, really. By the time their second CD came out, *Nsync was allllllllllll the rage.  All of a sudden we were no longer losers for obsessing over them. Well, let’s not get crazy we were still losers for it, but less so and yes Tara I saw you at the concert, Miss TCF*Nsync.

2. Stupid headbands. We had a strange affinity for weird alien antennae like headbands (and still do). Headbands with neon poofs, or pom poms, or hearts, we don’t discriminate.

No...I'm not currently buying these...or am I?

We just found them funny so we wore them. And there was no “no distracting headband clause” in the dress code so it was fun to annoy the principal. But at first, people gave us really dirty looks, as if we insulted their mother’s brownie recipe. They would stare at us as if we were actual aliens or zombies. Then, other people started wearing weird headbands too. Probably because we ate their brains, but you know, whatever.

3.  Heart sunglasses. Yes I like them. Only because I think they are stupid/funny, not because I thought anyone else would like them. I get stopped, even from people who seem fabulous. I worked with a woman that couldn’t stop talking about them (“They’re so fun! They are just SO fun!”  ” I have to get a pair NOW!”) . She looked at me like I was wearing a limited edition Tiffany key necklace or something.

For the price, I hope these open a secret money box.

They are 5 dollar sunglasses people! They look ridiculous.  And yes, I highly recommend them!

Now I am not saying we are trendsetters or fashionable. We most certainly are NOT. (Marie Claire takes a deep breath and stops writing us an angry letter). And yes, there were plenty of times I worried about what I was wearing, and if my friends were going to like it, and if  I fit in instead of standing out. But if you feel this way, try to get over it. It will take awhile, but you’ll be much happier because it is exhausting and pointless to try to keep up with all the trends.

Keeping up with the Joneses, or the Kardashians or the Marc Jacobs is not only expensive, it robs you of your individuality. You spend all your time saving up for the Tory Burch flats that you hope scream “I’m rich!” (whether you are or not), or the status designer bag which will just get knocked off in China Town, or the Tickle Me Elmo of the moment.

(Sorry I can’t think of what is in right now that is also completely overhyped.)

If you truly like Tory Burch flats, or Tickle me Elmo, then by all means, take out a second mortgage. (I’ll admit I like Tory Burch flats myself, especially the jelly ones.) But if you’re just buying something to try to subtly hint to everyone that you are cool and fabulous, put down the debit card. (Well, put it back in your purse.)

Most of the time following the “trend” is dumb because 9 times out of 10 you look back and think ‘what was I thinking?!‘ For example: oversized flannel shirts, dark lip liner, pulling your hair back as tight as possible (doubled as a mini face lift, which is a disturbing look for those under 50), light denim with splatter paint, baggy jeans, being drug- addict thin, feathered bangs, shoulder pads, dresses that make the unpregnant look pregnant.

Do I need to go on?

(Exception to trend remorse: slap bracelets. Coolest. Trend. Ever.)

So rather than look back in embarrassment, you’re better off being yourself, starting your own ‘trends’, and wearing your own ‘tiny hat’.

Because it’s always better to err on the side of fun, than fabulous. So while everyone is trampling each other on Black Friday over the latest and greatest, you can just sit back in your stupid tiny hat and laugh.

(Just pretend they are wearing tiny hats...)

Tell us below, what’s your (regrettable) ‘tiny hat’?


4 Responses to “What’s Your Tiny Hat? …… Fashion Advice from the Frighteningly Unfashionable”

  1. Don December 9, 2010 at 9:55 am #

    LOVED the skit when I saw it the first time and LOVE the idea of this post. When you’ve been around the block as long as this old hag the number of “tiny hats” is just to high to count. Example – I did my “tiny hat” in the 80s the first time and now I’m doing an updated version of it again thanks to Heritage 1981. I know the rule is: if you did it the first time you can’t/shouldn’t do it when it comes back around. But I’M the boss of me so there. And, what of it!

  2. Stop Being a Loser December 9, 2010 at 10:34 am #

    This made me laugh so much. Can you please start a radio show called This Old Hag, like This American Life? I would definitely tune in. What of it!!

  3. Liz December 13, 2010 at 7:53 pm #

    I am absolutely obsessed with fur trapper hats (foe fur, of course!). While I can’t admit to regretting my love for them, they certainly are the equivalent of a “tiny hat.” I wear ones that are way too big for my head because I think the styles made for guys are way cuter. And I don’t care that I look somewhat ridiculous, because I also think I look somewhat cute!


  4. Stop Being a Loser December 14, 2010 at 11:12 am #

    Um amazing! Love the plaid. And so funny because I really want one of those fur trapper hats! haha I stare at them every time I go to Urban Outfitters, and then I think will people laugh at me? But since when has that stopped me! Maybe I will get one…where do you buy yours?

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