Archive | May, 2011

Motivating Mondays: Charlie Sheen…(yes, Charlie Sheen)

30 May


Okay okay, the Charlie Sheen craze is sooo March 2011. But I wanted to share some of his quotes. While he is undeniably off his rocker, he does have some surprisingly inspirational things to say. Yes, he takes confident to a whole new level, but I think we could all use a small dose of grandiosity at times to maintain our motivation.

"I can do anything better than anyone!"

Check out a few of his quotes and tell me you don’t feel oddly inspired.

“You make a choice to win, and you win.”

“Faith is for winners. Hope is for losers.”

“Park your nonsense.”

“I’m tired of pretending I’m not a total, bitchin rock star from Mars.

“I’m alive. Bring it.”

“I have one speed. I have one gear. Go.”

“Change your brain.”

“Get back in the game, Dude.”

“No panic. No judgment.”

“Shut up. Stop. Move forward.”

“I’m bi-winning. I win here, and I win there.”

“I don’t believe in panicking.”

“Flinching’s for amateurs.”

“Bi-polar? The earth is bi-polar.” (Okay, this one is not motivational. I just think it’s hilarious.)

Told you. Surprisingly motivational, right??

For more motivational/crazy Charlie Sheen quotes, check out

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Related Posts:

I can do anything!


All my friends hate my boyfriend!

27 May

Dear Losers,

What do you do if all your friends hate your boyfriend?

Samantha, 17

Dear Reader,

Elope and have 12 kids with him!

WOOPSIE. (Photo via

Just kidding.

I hope you are still on our blog and not on (Though they do have some great deals!)

Anyway, you have to ask yourself why they hate him. Actually don’t ask yourself, ask them. If their dislike for him is completely unfounded, close-minded or irrational, then there’s not much you can do except tell your friends to cry about it.

And offer them a soft tissue. And hold them while they cry soft tears. I mean, you are friends.

Friendsies! Okay lawyer/client.

For example if they say things like,

Well he just doesn’t fit in!

I liked your last boyfriend better!

I just see you with someone more popular. And athletic!


Ugh, ew!

Then those aren’t great reasons. Their hatred towards him may be more about them and their hangups. Or they may want you to date someone with cuter friends, or some fictional person they think is perfect for you.

Honestly? I just see you dating a vampire.

However, if they do have good reasons, you should listen. If they say things like,

He’s rude and doesn’t treat you well!

He grabbed my [CENSORED] at that party last night!

I think he has a bright future ahead of him! IN WIFEBEATING.

Um hello, he makes you cry AND he smells weird!

What? Somebody had to say it.

Then, they might have a point. Our friends are supposed to look out for us. Sometimes they mean well and should be ignored. And sometimes they mean well and should be listened to.

I remember when one of my friends was fed up with her boyfriend, she asked me,

What do you think of Ryan*?

And I said,


(She nodded.)

I think he’s a DOUCHEBAG.

*Names changed to protect the douchebags.

And he steals from your rock collection!

And I was happy to list all the reasons why. They were reasons she was already aware of. She wasn’t like,

OH MY GOD! He’s rude and mooches off of me???? (As she checks her empty wallet)

She knew.

And you’ll know. You’re not stupid. Listen for good reasons. And if you don’t hear any, then have some tissues ready. Soft ones! You’re friends, remember?

Because though your friends don’t have to date him, they do have to deal with him.

If you like this post, please link it to your Facebook or Twitter account! Or add it to StumbleUpon or Digg. Thanks!

Related Posts: 

Help! My Best Friend is Dating a Douche!

Romeo Wasn’t  a Jerk to Juliet

Motivating Monday: Clumsy Ninjas!

23 May

Have you guys seen this video? It’s one of my favorites.

I watch it over and over on a bad day and laugh, probably because I am a terrible human being, but also because I have been there. I love fall videos because I am extremely clumsy too. Some highlights from my performance career:

I have toe touched so high and with such enthusiasm, that I kicked a friend in the chin. (There were sound effects)

I have fueted with such passion, I kicked a teammate in the stomach. (There were sound effects)

I have projectile vomited on teammates as I jazz walked offstage. (Which prompted a 15 minute intermission because they had to clean up.)

I have danced backwards off a platform and fallen onto the football field while cheering at a HS football game. (I didn’t think anyone would notice until I heard 400 people gasp. And then laugh.)

I could go on, but the point would be the same. I have embarrassed myself a LOT, but I’ve  lived to laugh about it. And you will too.

At some point, you’re going to fall on your face. Literally. And in front of people.

Yup, that's Beyonce.

But what matters is if you go viral on youtube. I mean, if you pick yourself back up.

I love this video because this ninja was so cocky going into his standing back tuck, but he fell flat on his face and just got up and kept swinging his nun chucks anyway.

That’s awesome. So if you fall down, don’t stay down. Walk it off, laugh it off, and swing those nunchucks.

(And hope for a Tosh.O web redemption.)–web-redemption

Random Rec Wednesday: Jergens Natural Glow

18 May

For those of you with naturally beautiful tan skin or skin that tans easily,

1) I hate you, and

2) this post need not apply.

But for the rest of us pasty less blessed in the tan skin department, there are options.

I am a health enthusiast so I refuse to get my tan in a cancer box (tanning bed). And I am a bargain enthusiast so I refuse to get a spray tan every week. So I use Jergens Natural Glow.

I used to love Dove self tanner, but they discontinued it. I don’t want to talk about it. I SAID, I DON’T WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT, MOM!

Anyway, that’s how I came to use Jergens and it is amazing. This little gem is half self-tanner and half moisturizer so it is very subtle and virtually idiot proof. And it contains Vitamin E to protect your skin since self tanner makes your skin more vulnerable to sun.

Although Natural Glow can be used everyday, I recommend using it every other day or taking a couple days off during the week depending on the progression of your color. If you want to go from geisha to Snooky in one week, be my guest and use it everyday. But we’re going for subtle here.

Natural Glow is a tanning delight because it comes in three different tones (depending on your level of pastiness) and it has tiny gold flecks in it so it makes your skin look like it’s glowing. Not like tacky body glitter, but it gives your skin a healthy glow.

So if you are looking for a tan,  forgo the cancer box and use  Jergens Natural Glow.  Then you can put more emphasis on the gym and laundry.

Related Posts:

Attention Snookies of the World! Skin Cancer isn’t just for old people.

Random Rec Wednesday: Baby Wipes

Motivating Monday: Get Back on Track!

16 May

In life, you can only ever be scared, when you believe in limits.

You can only ever feel lonely, when you stop doing things.

You can only ever become bored, when you no longer follow your heart.

And you can only ever get overwhelmed, when you think the illusions are real.

Whew! Who knew it could be so easy to get back on track?

This is one of my all time favorite Notes from the Universe c/o TUT\’s Adventurers Club.

I really don’t have anything to add to it. It’s just that good.

Happy Monday!