How do you know when you can NOT trust someone?
When you find yourself asking that question.
Okay, it’s not THAT simple, but it’s close. I never find myself asking that question about people I trust. I never think,
Hmm, can I trust my mom? My best friend, Tricia? Trustworthy Tara who has never given me reason to not trust her?
You never ask that about people you trust. You only ask it when people have given you reason not to trust them. (Or when they are wearing a villain cape and giving you the shady eye.)
If you’re having that feeling of “I don’t know if I can trust this person….” then ask yourself why. If you can come up with some legitimate reasons, you just answered your own question.
And if you can’t figure out why you’re getting a weird, sinking feeling about someone, ask someone that you trust what they think. They may be able to shed light on the situation.
I must say, sometimes you can have every reason to trust someone and then they go do something to betray that. But from my experience, it’s pretty rare.
It’s more likely that once you are betrayed, you look back and think,
Oh my gosh, I ignored all the signs!
They were betraying me the whole time! Worse, I gave them the greenlight! AND money for gas!
I know when I’ve seen friends betrayed by someone they trusted – a boyfriend, a friend, a roommate, I am rarely surprised. Because while they trusted that person, I did not. Plus, I was the one they complained to about Untrustworthy Ursula. So yeah, color me NOT shocked.
I think when we trust Shady Sams or Hurtful Hannahs it’s because we want to trust them, despite knowing better. Maybe you’re in love with them, or you grew up with them, or they are extremely good looking or their Dad has access to Justin Bieber tickets. But you can’t let that stuff cloud your judgment.
It’s the same reason I keep seeing Period Movies (like movies with corsets and bonnets, not tampons and pamprin).
I want to like them. (They are so alluring!)
But I never do. (They are super boring!)
I always leave the theatre feeling duped and saying something like,
Well THAT was an expensive nap.
I think I’d rather read the 500 page book. In Russian.
Oh my God! Have you seen my cell phone?
Finally one of my friends got so fed up with me complaining about period films that she said,
“I don’t think you like period movies. I think you just want to like them.”
Bingo. (I mean, the costumes are so pretty!)
So don’t let your want to trust someone get in the way of you not actually trusting them. Because that’s how they can betray you over and over. (Shaking fist at period movies!!)
Don’t forget that trust is earned. And if it’s broken it has to be earned again.
And most of all, don’t forget to avoid seeing Period Movies with me. Trust me, I will ruin the entire experience for you.
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