Why do people rely on their friends to hook them up?

14 Oct

Dear Losers,

Why do people rely on their friends to hook them up?

Lacey, 14

Dear Reader,

Because doing it yourself  is terrifying.

Have you ever tried it? You have. Interesting. Are you good at it? You are.  Would you like to try it for me?

Just kidding. No, I’m not. I’m kidding. Just kidding!

People rely on their friends because sometimes it’s easier to rely on a third party to make a love connection.

Isn’t that what friends, classmates,  and skywriters are for?

But I understand why you are annoyed.  It’s immature to have your friend do all the work.

It’s like in elementary school, when you have your friend pass a note in class.

Hey Billy,

Do you like Tricia? She totally didn’t ask me to ask you.  I was just curious. Also, can I borrow some .5 lead?



Billy writes back, Yes!

Dear Tricia,

Yes, Billy likes you. And he thinks your hair is pretty. Can we go back to reading Bridge of Terabithia now? I plan on getting in to a good college, thanks.

Warm Regards,


While this process is annoying, someday you may need her to return the favor.

The problem is, face-to-face ask-outs can be really awkward, especially if you are forced to see that person everyday.

Hey Jill, do you want to wear my varsity jacket sometime?

No? Okay…well see you in P.E.!

Face-to friend-to-face ask-outs are way less awkward. You just have your friend figure out whether your crush likes you, and depending on the answer, you can all pretend like it never even happened!

I even experienced a face-to-friend-to face breakup once.

That is, my boyfriend sent his friend to break up with me for him. Yes, you heard right.  I was not asked out by some guy’s friend, but rather broken up with by one. Classy, right?It gets better.

Right after my boyfriend’s friend dumped me, he asked me to The Valentine’s Day dance. In the same conversation.

What?! Was this some kind of sick joke? I mean, I understand I’m single now, but give me a second. I’m still trying to wrap my head around

a. Being broken up with, and

b. Being broken up with by someone other than my boyfriend, and you are

c. Trying to ask me out?!

Unfortunately, this was way after Candid Camera and shortly before Punk’d, so I had no choice but to believe this was really happening. Sigh.  And like anyone with a shred of dignity, I said no. Well, I think my actual words were more like, “Um, uhhh, I…….don’t think I’m going.” And then I went. Muhahaha!

You just can’t turn your friend’s breakup into an ask-out. It’s tacky.

While I don’t recommend having your friends break up with someone for you, helping them make a love match isn’t so bad.

Hopefully, as adults they will get the courage to talk to the opposite sex on their own. Or they can take their adult money and pay someone.

But if you don’t feel comfortable doing your friend’s work for them, then don’t. Especially if it involves a break up.


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