Dating DOs and DON’Ts

11 Nov

Dear Losers, 

I know this sounds stupid, but I honestly know nothing about dating and I have a date next week. I’m totally freaked out. Any advice?

Corrine, 16

Dear Reader,

There is no need to fear dating. Yes, dating is awkward, stressful, and emotionally taxing. But it can also be promising or painfully hilarious. Here’s a list of dating DO’s and DON’Ts to make you shine on the field.

DO:

-Pick out your outfit ahead of time and dress for the occasion. Dating is stressful enough. No need to assault your room with your whole closet as if you are shooting it through a t-shirt gun.

Why is she in the line of fire?!

Decide what you are going to wear the day before and try it on. You never know if you need to iron it or have an unsightly stain on it. (True story). Or if you still have the tag on. (Another true story.)

-Meet him there. If you don’t know the guy well, don’t give him your address and/or get in a vehicle with him! Hello, stranger danger! Your safety always comes first. And always tell someone where you’re going.

-Be yourself, be be yourself! Don’t say you like to watch sports with the boys if you don’t. If you like to knit and read, say so! Unless you only like to read dating books…keep that under wraps until at least date four. And completely hide them if he comes over. Though I did have a boyfriend that looked awesomely terrified when he saw “Why Men Love Bitches” on my bookshelf. Maybe keep that one out.

-Eat smart. Don’t order the baby back ribs or spaghetti bolognese unless you’re prepared to wear it home or spritz him with it like it’s after shave.

As my sister and I say when we’re eating a messy meal, ‘NOT a date food!’ (And then we commence eating like cavemen.)

-Demand respect. If you and your time are not being respected, make like a banana and rot. I mean, split.

-Keep your chops in check. Always check your teeth and carry a breath freshening product on your person. No one wants to be remembered as Halitosis Heather.

Mentos, the FRESHMAKER!

DON’T:

-Expect he’s going to pay. I think it’s chivalrous for the guy to pay. And I’ll be honest, I think he should pay, especially if he asked you out. But, there’s no universal rule here. (Thanks a lot, CONGRESS!) And people aren’t always on the same page.  Sometimes, both parties don’t even agree it’s a date. Nightmare scenario, but it happens. So offer to pay for your own ice cream/lobster/coffee. If he’s eager for you to pay, expects you to pay his share, or just plain asks you for cash, you can decide whether you want to go out with him again.

-Bring up past relationships. That’s what they do on MTV dating shows- for ratings. It’s not first date talk in the real world. Unless you are dating your therapist. In which case you should probably find a new date and therapist.

-Meet in a secluded place until you are certain he’s not a serial killer. It’s just not safe. Plus, awkward silence is all the more awkward when there’s no background noise.

-Flake last minute. I get it. Stuff happens and sometimes you have to cancel. But only cancel the day of if you have a good reason. “I’m just not feeling flirty today” is not a great reason. Though it would be hilarious to say and he might give you points for honesty. He might also not ask you again. (At least you have the points!)

Dooooooon't flake! (Sorry, had to.)

-String a guy along to be ‘nice.’ It’s not nice. It’s mean. Just be honest. If you aren’t into him, that’s okay. There are plenty of ways to let him know without destroying his ability to love again.

Whether you love dating or hate it, it’s something we all have to do; like going to the dentist or paying taxes. So you might as well be a smart and savvy dater. And remember, bad dates = great stories.

If you like this post, please link to it on your Facebook or Twitter account! Or add it to StumbleSupon or Digg. Thanks!

Related Posts:

What’s a good thing to wear on a first date?

http://stopbeingaloser.org/2010/09/05/dear-losers-whats-a-good-thing-to-wear-on-a-first-date/

What do you do if a date is really bad and you want to leave?

http://stopbeingaloser.org/2010/09/12/what-do-you-do-if-a-date-is-really-bad-and-you-want-to-leave/

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2 Responses to “Dating DOs and DON’Ts”

  1. imakeeper November 11, 2011 at 1:07 pm #

    Ahhh I like this list… espeically the don’t of bringing up past relationships! GAH that is so annoying!

    I also would totally wear that puffy dress of a mess mini-golfing. It would probably distract my date from putting well and guarantee me a better score. WIN 😉

  2. Loser 2.0 November 11, 2011 at 5:03 pm #

    Great tactic to win at some mini-golf! I would actually find it completely amusing if I saw a girl wearing a puffy runway dress at the local mini-golf. haha

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