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(Advice) Valentine’s Day: The Original Love/Hate Relationship

14 Feb

(Yes this is a repost from last year. It was a popular post, okay?! )

Today we present to you two opposing views on Valentine’s Day. (cue Law and Order music)

Love it.

By Megan

I love Valentine’s Day.

Love it. If it were a boy, I’d make out with it that’s how much I love this holiday.

But I don’t love it for the usual reasons. Valentine’s Day hasn’t been especially kind to me. In fact, it’s been downright cold to me. I can count the romantic Valentines days I’ve had on one hand. And by one hand, I mean like two fingers. I don’t know if this is the one day of the year I have unbearable B.O. or something, but whatever.

I will continue to love Valentine’s day whether or not it loves me back. Sort of like how a stalker unconditionally loves his stalkee.

If I could afford a therapist, she would probably tell me I love Valentines Day just to spite my ex-boyfriends.

Stereotypical Aunt/Kristen Wiig

And she would be right.

Why should I hate Valentine’s Day just  because they aren’t always fireworks and flowers? I refuse to give my power away and make Valentine’s Day only about romance, or boys, or a boyfriend who chose to spend Valentine’s Day with his aunt instead of me. True story :(.

I. Won’t. Hate. Valentine’s Day!

Isn’t that what unromantic guys want- a girl who hates Valentine’s Day? SCORE! Then they don’t have to show you any love on that day.

Boy 1: Hey Brad, you getting your girlfriend flowers for Valentine’s Day?

Boy 2 : (Excitedly) Nah, man. She hates it!

Boy 1 : @%$*^ awesome, man! Congrats! (They high five)

Brilliant, ladies! Let’s abstain from Valentine’s Day to prove the point that we should be romantic everyday………..by not doing anything romantic TODAY!

Congratulations, you make no sense.

I think people who hate Valentine’s Day are missing the point.

Point: Valentine’s Day is so cheesy.

Counterpoint: So is that romantic comedy you watch in bed every February 14. But that doesn’t stop you from hitting play. And you don’t have to be cheesy to celebrate. No one is forcing you to buy  the entire Valentine’s aisle at Rite Aid. You can get as creative or uncreative as you want.

Point: Why should we celebrate love just one day of the year, or when corporate America tells us to? We should do it all the time.

Counterpoint: But we don’t. So we should at LEAST do it once a year. One is better than none! If anything, we should have more Valentine’s days, not less. Like once a month. 12  celebrations of love instead of zero. You do the math.

Point: I’m going to celebrate love by opting out of the national celebration of it!!

Counterpoint: Well pin a red  rose on your nose. That is very original. Let me guess, you’re wearing black too? And out with your single girlfriends looking for guys? Hmm.. looks a lot like a celebration… and looking for love  if you ask me.

As I was saying, I don’t think Valentine’s Day is about whether you have a significant other or not. It’s not just about romance. It’s about love. Love for your family and your friends and the crabby old lady down the street. Love for funfetti cupcakes, and cinnamon gummy hearts and the chance to wear red and pink together and not get dirty looks. And love for candy that is half-off on February 15.

My best Valentine memories don’t involve boyfriends at all. (Sorry). My best memories are when friends and family made my day special. Like when my friend, Ryan bought each of us girls a single rose, in case we didn’t get one from anyone else. Or when my friends, Wayne and Greg took me and another friend to P.F. Chang’s because none of us had Valentine’s. Hey, pity Valentine’s are just as good as real ones.

I truly love this place.

But my favorite memory is from first grade. It was the morning of Valentine’s Day, and I ran out of platonic-sounding cards for the boys in my class. Obviously, I was devastated! Even at that age, I didn’t want boys to get the wrong idea. But my Dad saved the day. As I cried and panicked about being late to school, he wrote messages like, “You’re nice, Classmate! Happy Valentine’s Day!” which we glued on top of flirty sayings like “Be MINE, Valentine.”

Now that’s love.

..In a platonic way ONLY!

In conclusion, I think everyone needs to get over getting over Valentine’s Day. If you don’t have a date, it’s probably the best day of the year to get one. My friends threw a party on Valentine’s Day one year and you would have thought we were giving away free NFL tickets. It was Boy City!

If you go out on Valentine’s Day, guys are extremely friendly because they know you are single.  Or that you have a boyfriend who is out of town, which is basically the same thing.  Am I right?!

Just kidding. But really, you should go out on Valentine’s Day if you’re looking for love.

And if you aren’t, Valentine’s Day is a great excuse to mope and not be judged for it. Or to spend time with your aunt.

Hate it.

By Tricia

First of all, let me say I am a sucker for romance. I am always down for a cheesy romantic comedy and I love hearing stories of how people got engaged/fell in love. I have seen The Notebook more times than I can count…don’t judge me.

Yet strangely enough, I detest Valentine’s Day. With a passion. I am not bitter. I am not a creepy cat lady (no offense to cat lovers, creepy or not). I just don’t understand it.

Who says we have to show our affection on February 14th? I want random romance. Not obligatory romance because the calendar says so! Crowded restaurants, overpriced food, naked cherub decorations, cheesy mainstream gifts…it is so predictable. You can show your love any damn day of the year. Why romance because Hallmark says so?

Hallmark rep.

I’m all about more romance, but how about you get creative and romance on a random unexpected day? OoOhhh aaHhhhh.

The holiday has become so commercialized. It takes away from the real purpose, the genuine romance. Right after businesses put away their Christmas stuff, out comes all the Valentine’s Day goods. Red and pink decorations everywhere you look. Conversation hearts on every display. Red roses in full force. Despite being unable to escape the commerciality lurking in every store window, we will all wait until the last minute to make any plans, thus guaranteeing a night of stress and predictability.

“To stress and predictability!”

Guy- Hey, let’s get dressed up, drive to an expensive overcrowded restaurant where we won’t be able to find parking so I’ll end up shelling out some cash to the valet. Then we will wait for an hour and a half for a table even though we made reservations three weeks in advance. We’ll order small portioned overly priced food and I’ll order an expensive bottle of champagne from our rude and sarcastic waitress who is taking out her anger of being scheduled to work Valentine’s night out on the patrons.

We’ll wait another 45 minutes for our mediocre food and then order chocolate covered strawberries for dessert while we wait another 30 minutes for our bill and I’ll shell out some more cash, which will put me into debt for the next month. Oh wait, I got you a dozen red roses and a heart shaped box of chocolates. Love you!

Girl- Awww. You’re so sweet! Red roses and heart shaped chocolate? How’d you know?!

Guys don’t need to spend a lot of money to show they care. By all means they should save their cash and get creative. It’s the little things that matter most to me. And, if a guy is going to go the predictable mainstream route, he should at least try to mix it up. Please, spare me the diabetes ridden chocolate sampler. And if you’re going to get me flowers, find out what kind of flowers I like. Don’t show up on my door with a dozen red roses. I mean, it’s a nice gesture but I know you can do better! There’s no element of surprise with red roses and a heart shaped box of chocolates.

My dad only gives my mom flowers on her birthday, Valentine’s Day and on their anniversary. Never on a random day of the year. Never just for fun. Never just for romance. Granted, my dad isn’t Rico Suave, but he tries. I give him credit for always remembering and being prepared for those occasions, but guys should also go the extra mile and catch you off guard once in a while. Genuine romance/love isn’t something that can be forced or planned. It should come naturally and guys should want to romance you!

No, I couldn’t do a Valentine’s Day post without inserting a picture from The Notebook

I know not all guys are big on foo foo girly romance, but if a guy really likes you he will do what he has to if whether that involves foo foo girly romance or not. If he’s not doing things to show you he cares, he probably doesn’t.  And I don’t mean to put all the pressure on guys. We girls need to go the extra mile and show we care too. Sharing is caring and it’s a two way street.

Valentine’s Day reminds me of high school Spirit Week. The week starts out as being about class and school unity and ends up being a big competition and rivalry between the classes. By the end of the week no one remembers what the week’s purpose is and each class ends up hating the others, but they’ll all be back to do it again next year as scheduled! Yay! That’s the spirit!

Girl 1: Yeah my boyfriend took me to Outback for Valentine’s Day. The steak was so good!

Girl 2: Oh, really? My boyfriend took me to Paris. You know, like Paris, France? Anyway, sounds like you had fun!

Girl 1: Oh. Yeah…..

In conclusion…

What’s your take- Do you love Valentine’s Day or hate it? Let us know below!

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(Motivation) Why you SHOULD make New Years Resolutions!

3 Jan

I resolve to kiss the mayor of NYC! (P.S. How did I miss this?)

I am amazed by how many people say you shouldn’t make New Years Resolutions. I’ve been hearing it everywhere.

What?

That’s like saying,

Why make goals? You’ll just fail!

Why floss? You’ll just get gum disease!

Why start that project? You’ll just fall on your face! And I’ll just laugh!

But you don’t hear people say those things. I guess for some people, there is something about making goals on New Year’s that is just stupid. That’s fine. Then make them on January 2. Make them today. Make them on December 31st or July 16th for all I care.

Call them something else, like a goal. Call them Bob. Call them Jane. Whatever you have to do to trick your brain into not immediately associating a New Years Resolution with failure, do that. Just don’t give up dammit!

I watched “The Pursuit of Happyness” recently and it is a really inspiring movie.  My favorite part is when Will Smith plays basketball with his son. His son says he wants to be a basketball player and Will Smith tells him not to make dreams like that. And his son agrees with him.

Then Will says,

Will: Hey. Don’t ever let somebody tell you… You can’t do something. Not even me. All right?

Will Jr.: All right.

Will: You got a dream… You gotta protect it. People can’t do somethin’ themselves, they wanna tell you you can’t do it. If you want somethin’, go get it. Period.

It’s some of the best advice I’ve ever heard.

Don’t let someone tell you you can’t because they couldn’t.

Don’t let someone tell you not to make New Years Resolutions, goals, Bobs or Janes because they always fail at theirs.

I love New Years Resolutions. Have I failed at some years and years in a row? Yes. Have I also gotten better at some of those things after years of trying? Yes.

The best advice I’ve ever read on overcoming bad habits is in this article called “The Motivational One-Two Punch for Overcoming Bad Habits,” from Psychology Today. http://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/the-science-success/201003/the-motivational-one-two-punch-overcoming-bad-habits

The author talks about making an if-then plan. I took it as whatever bad habit you are trying to kick, you think of when or what situation you are most likely to do it and you do the good habit instead.

I do this if-then thing on all my bad habits that I’m trying to kick. You  know when you are in a situation where you normally do x when you want to do y. And everytime is an opportunity to stop doing x and start doing y.

So I say make some New Years Resolutions. And don’t let anyone tell you not to because they fail at theirs.

Go 2012.

Dating DOs and DON’Ts

11 Nov

Dear Losers, 

I know this sounds stupid, but I honestly know nothing about dating and I have a date next week. I’m totally freaked out. Any advice?

Corrine, 16

Dear Reader,

There is no need to fear dating. Yes, dating is awkward, stressful, and emotionally taxing. But it can also be promising or painfully hilarious. Here’s a list of dating DO’s and DON’Ts to make you shine on the field.

DO:

-Pick out your outfit ahead of time and dress for the occasion. Dating is stressful enough. No need to assault your room with your whole closet as if you are shooting it through a t-shirt gun.

Why is she in the line of fire?!

Decide what you are going to wear the day before and try it on. You never know if you need to iron it or have an unsightly stain on it. (True story). Or if you still have the tag on. (Another true story.)

-Meet him there. If you don’t know the guy well, don’t give him your address and/or get in a vehicle with him! Hello, stranger danger! Your safety always comes first. And always tell someone where you’re going.

-Be yourself, be be yourself! Don’t say you like to watch sports with the boys if you don’t. If you like to knit and read, say so! Unless you only like to read dating books…keep that under wraps until at least date four. And completely hide them if he comes over. Though I did have a boyfriend that looked awesomely terrified when he saw “Why Men Love Bitches” on my bookshelf. Maybe keep that one out.

-Eat smart. Don’t order the baby back ribs or spaghetti bolognese unless you’re prepared to wear it home or spritz him with it like it’s after shave.

As my sister and I say when we’re eating a messy meal, ‘NOT a date food!’ (And then we commence eating like cavemen.)

-Demand respect. If you and your time are not being respected, make like a banana and rot. I mean, split.

-Keep your chops in check. Always check your teeth and carry a breath freshening product on your person. No one wants to be remembered as Halitosis Heather.

Mentos, the FRESHMAKER!

DON’T:

-Expect he’s going to pay. I think it’s chivalrous for the guy to pay. And I’ll be honest, I think he should pay, especially if he asked you out. But, there’s no universal rule here. (Thanks a lot, CONGRESS!) And people aren’t always on the same page.  Sometimes, both parties don’t even agree it’s a date. Nightmare scenario, but it happens. So offer to pay for your own ice cream/lobster/coffee. If he’s eager for you to pay, expects you to pay his share, or just plain asks you for cash, you can decide whether you want to go out with him again.

-Bring up past relationships. That’s what they do on MTV dating shows- for ratings. It’s not first date talk in the real world. Unless you are dating your therapist. In which case you should probably find a new date and therapist.

-Meet in a secluded place until you are certain he’s not a serial killer. It’s just not safe. Plus, awkward silence is all the more awkward when there’s no background noise.

-Flake last minute. I get it. Stuff happens and sometimes you have to cancel. But only cancel the day of if you have a good reason. “I’m just not feeling flirty today” is not a great reason. Though it would be hilarious to say and he might give you points for honesty. He might also not ask you again. (At least you have the points!)

Dooooooon't flake! (Sorry, had to.)

-String a guy along to be ‘nice.’ It’s not nice. It’s mean. Just be honest. If you aren’t into him, that’s okay. There are plenty of ways to let him know without destroying his ability to love again.

Whether you love dating or hate it, it’s something we all have to do; like going to the dentist or paying taxes. So you might as well be a smart and savvy dater. And remember, bad dates = great stories.

If you like this post, please link to it on your Facebook or Twitter account! Or add it to StumbleSupon or Digg. Thanks!

Related Posts:

What’s a good thing to wear on a first date?

http://stopbeingaloser.org/2010/09/05/dear-losers-whats-a-good-thing-to-wear-on-a-first-date/

What do you do if a date is really bad and you want to leave?

http://stopbeingaloser.org/2010/09/12/what-do-you-do-if-a-date-is-really-bad-and-you-want-to-leave/

Last Minute Halloween Costumes from TV and Movies

27 Oct

So you’re trying to branch out from the stereotypical sexy costume.  Or more specifically, the sexy occupation category.

I’m a sexy nurse, sexy angel, sexy teacher, sexy architect, sexy janitor, sexy murderer!

Sexy is fine if you’re of age. I heard someone say recently,

“You’re old enough for a sexy costume when you are too old to trick-or-treat.”

Agreed.

But what about just a cute costume? I want to be Minnie Mouse, mostly because I have yellow heels that I never get to wear and the sparkly headband from Disneyland. But I was horrified at the ready-made costumes. One even had a video in which Minnie advertised that you could see her butt cheeks.

What?! Way to ruin my childhood. I hope this isn’t the same Minnie I took a picture with in front of Sleeping Beauty’s Castle! (Cry into Mom’s fanny pack.)

I want to be a cute Minnie Mouse,  not a Sexy Hooker Minnie Mouse. She’s a married woman. I quickly realized I’d have to make my own costume, but the only examples I like are BABY costumes!

Seriously, how cute is this costume?

Whatever. This baby is stylish and I am following her lead.

Below are more costume ideas from TV shows and Movies. Don’t worry some are sexy costumes and some are not. There is something for everyone. And please feel free to share your own ideas!

1. Mean Girls.

If you’ve got two blondes and a brunette, this is a great costume. It’s making fun of the sexy costume while also being a sexy costume. This way when some snob asks,

“Oh my gosh, are you seriously a sexy cat?”

Then you point at your two friends and say,

“Um, no. We’re Mean Girls. Like from the movie?”

And then you make out with her boyfriend, because hey, you’re in character!

2. Little Miss Sunshine.

Hello. How cute is she? If I had red cowboy boots, I’d totally do this.

3. Black Swan, White Swan

So pretty! This is from American Apparel. You can add a tiara too.

4. Daria

How cool is she? This is a great costume for a Brunette. And if you have a Blonde/orange-haired friend she could be Quinn!

5. Pop Stars- Katy Perry, Taylor Swift, K$sha, Jelena.

I was Katy Perry last year and it was really fun. I’ve been trying to convince my boyfriend to be Jelena with me and he keeps saying,

“Grown men can’t be Justin Bieber for Halloween.”

Then in the same sentence he says he wants to be Cookie Monster. You tell me which costume’s more immature.

6. Toddlers and Tiaras

You will need a few of the following: a ridiculous poofy costume, tiara, a contestant number, a sash, a trophy, big Texas hair, too much makeup, a creepy glassy-eyed look,  a baton or something else to signify a weird talent. This would also make a great group costume!

7. A cancelled TV show like The Playboy Club

Also making fun of the sexy costume while being a sexy costume. So when a snob says,

“Oh my gosh, are you seriously a Playboy bunny?

Then you can say,

“Um actually, I am the cancelled TV show, The Playboy Club.”

Then you point to the cancelled stamp you drew on your face, or the cancelled sign on your back. Then you call your agent because hey, you’re unemployed now!

8. Extreme Couponer

I’ll admit, I’m not sure how to pull this one off, but it would be awesome. Maybe dress like a soccer mom, carry coupons, and get a few pictures of you diving in dumpsters? Rent a U-Haul for your purchases? Push around a cart full of Mitchum Deodorant that you’ll never use? I don’t know.

There’s always Sexy Extreme Couponer, right?

9. 2 Broke Girls

Who doesn’t relate to being broke? Also, it’s a great duo costume. Actually, you might need a partner for this one. Otherwise you’re just One Broke Girl. And that’s just sad. 😦

And remember, if you can’t find an appropriate costume, you can always model yours after a baby.

Seriously, how cute is this costume?!

What are your costume ideas?

Related Post:

Holy Halloween, I Don’t Have a Costume Yet! A Quick and Dirty Guide to a Quick and Classy Costume

http://stopbeingaloser.org/2010/10/30/holyhalloween/

Why do people rely on their friends to hook them up?

14 Oct

Dear Losers,

Why do people rely on their friends to hook them up?

Lacey, 14

Dear Reader,

Because doing it yourself  is terrifying.

Have you ever tried it? You have. Interesting. Are you good at it? You are.  Would you like to try it for me?

Just kidding. No, I’m not. I’m kidding. Just kidding!

People rely on their friends because sometimes it’s easier to rely on a third party to make a love connection.

Isn’t that what friends, classmates,  and skywriters are for?

But I understand why you are annoyed.  It’s immature to have your friend do all the work.

It’s like in elementary school, when you have your friend pass a note in class.

Hey Billy,

Do you like Tricia? She totally didn’t ask me to ask you.  I was just curious. Also, can I borrow some .5 lead?

Respectfully,

Megan

Billy writes back, Yes!

Dear Tricia,

Yes, Billy likes you. And he thinks your hair is pretty. Can we go back to reading Bridge of Terabithia now? I plan on getting in to a good college, thanks.

Warm Regards,

Megan

While this process is annoying, someday you may need her to return the favor.

The problem is, face-to-face ask-outs can be really awkward, especially if you are forced to see that person everyday.

Hey Jill, do you want to wear my varsity jacket sometime?

No? Okay…well see you in P.E.!

Face-to friend-to-face ask-outs are way less awkward. You just have your friend figure out whether your crush likes you, and depending on the answer, you can all pretend like it never even happened!

I even experienced a face-to-friend-to face breakup once.

That is, my boyfriend sent his friend to break up with me for him. Yes, you heard right.  I was not asked out by some guy’s friend, but rather broken up with by one. Classy, right?It gets better.

Right after my boyfriend’s friend dumped me, he asked me to The Valentine’s Day dance. In the same conversation.

What?! Was this some kind of sick joke? I mean, I understand I’m single now, but give me a second. I’m still trying to wrap my head around

a. Being broken up with, and

b. Being broken up with by someone other than my boyfriend, and you are

c. Trying to ask me out?!

Unfortunately, this was way after Candid Camera and shortly before Punk’d, so I had no choice but to believe this was really happening. Sigh.  And like anyone with a shred of dignity, I said no. Well, I think my actual words were more like, “Um, uhhh, I…….don’t think I’m going.” And then I went. Muhahaha!

You just can’t turn your friend’s breakup into an ask-out. It’s tacky.

While I don’t recommend having your friends break up with someone for you, helping them make a love match isn’t so bad.

Hopefully, as adults they will get the courage to talk to the opposite sex on their own. Or they can take their adult money and pay someone.

But if you don’t feel comfortable doing your friend’s work for them, then don’t. Especially if it involves a break up.

 

If you like this post, please link to it on your Facebook or Twitter account! Or add it to StumbleSupon or Digg. Thanks!

Related Posts:

How Do I Meet Boys In College?

http://stopbeingaloser.org/2010/08/22/how-do-i-meet-boys-in-college/

How Do You Know When A Guy Is Hitting On You?

http://stopbeingaloser.org/2011/03/17/how-do-you-know-when-a-guy-is-hitting-on-you/