Tag Archives: advice for girls

Dating DOs and DON’Ts

11 Nov

Dear Losers, 

I know this sounds stupid, but I honestly know nothing about dating and I have a date next week. I’m totally freaked out. Any advice?

Corrine, 16

Dear Reader,

There is no need to fear dating. Yes, dating is awkward, stressful, and emotionally taxing. But it can also be promising or painfully hilarious. Here’s a list of dating DO’s and DON’Ts to make you shine on the field.

DO:

-Pick out your outfit ahead of time and dress for the occasion. Dating is stressful enough. No need to assault your room with your whole closet as if you are shooting it through a t-shirt gun.

Why is she in the line of fire?!

Decide what you are going to wear the day before and try it on. You never know if you need to iron it or have an unsightly stain on it. (True story). Or if you still have the tag on. (Another true story.)

-Meet him there. If you don’t know the guy well, don’t give him your address and/or get in a vehicle with him! Hello, stranger danger! Your safety always comes first. And always tell someone where you’re going.

-Be yourself, be be yourself! Don’t say you like to watch sports with the boys if you don’t. If you like to knit and read, say so! Unless you only like to read dating books…keep that under wraps until at least date four. And completely hide them if he comes over. Though I did have a boyfriend that looked awesomely terrified when he saw “Why Men Love Bitches” on my bookshelf. Maybe keep that one out.

-Eat smart. Don’t order the baby back ribs or spaghetti bolognese unless you’re prepared to wear it home or spritz him with it like it’s after shave.

As my sister and I say when we’re eating a messy meal, ‘NOT a date food!’ (And then we commence eating like cavemen.)

-Demand respect. If you and your time are not being respected, make like a banana and rot. I mean, split.

-Keep your chops in check. Always check your teeth and carry a breath freshening product on your person. No one wants to be remembered as Halitosis Heather.

Mentos, the FRESHMAKER!

DON’T:

-Expect he’s going to pay. I think it’s chivalrous for the guy to pay. And I’ll be honest, I think he should pay, especially if he asked you out. But, there’s no universal rule here. (Thanks a lot, CONGRESS!) And people aren’t always on the same page.  Sometimes, both parties don’t even agree it’s a date. Nightmare scenario, but it happens. So offer to pay for your own ice cream/lobster/coffee. If he’s eager for you to pay, expects you to pay his share, or just plain asks you for cash, you can decide whether you want to go out with him again.

-Bring up past relationships. That’s what they do on MTV dating shows- for ratings. It’s not first date talk in the real world. Unless you are dating your therapist. In which case you should probably find a new date and therapist.

-Meet in a secluded place until you are certain he’s not a serial killer. It’s just not safe. Plus, awkward silence is all the more awkward when there’s no background noise.

-Flake last minute. I get it. Stuff happens and sometimes you have to cancel. But only cancel the day of if you have a good reason. “I’m just not feeling flirty today” is not a great reason. Though it would be hilarious to say and he might give you points for honesty. He might also not ask you again. (At least you have the points!)

Dooooooon't flake! (Sorry, had to.)

-String a guy along to be ‘nice.’ It’s not nice. It’s mean. Just be honest. If you aren’t into him, that’s okay. There are plenty of ways to let him know without destroying his ability to love again.

Whether you love dating or hate it, it’s something we all have to do; like going to the dentist or paying taxes. So you might as well be a smart and savvy dater. And remember, bad dates = great stories.

If you like this post, please link to it on your Facebook or Twitter account! Or add it to StumbleSupon or Digg. Thanks!

Related Posts:

What’s a good thing to wear on a first date?

http://stopbeingaloser.org/2010/09/05/dear-losers-whats-a-good-thing-to-wear-on-a-first-date/

What do you do if a date is really bad and you want to leave?

http://stopbeingaloser.org/2010/09/12/what-do-you-do-if-a-date-is-really-bad-and-you-want-to-leave/

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Random Rec Wednesday: Prudent Advice For My Baby Daughter

2 Nov

Jamie Morrison Curtis is the author of the fabulous blog (and book), Prudent Advice For My Baby Daughter, and chronicles random pieces of advice for her 2 year old daughter to refer to as she grows up.

“But your blog boasts ‘Advice from your older sister, not your mom,’” you say?!

Well, this is the exception to our rule. Prudent Advice is an advice handbook that every girl should own. Every human, really. Here are some of my fave words of wisdom from the blog, (and my own addendums):

#23 When frustrating things happen, keep them in perspective.

#28 Splurge on fresh flowers once in a while. –Who says you can’t buy fresh flowers for yourself??

#82 Anytime you are debating whether to shower or not, take the shower. – Seriously.

#80 Not everyone is going to like you, and that’s just fine.

#71 Guilt is a paralytic emotion.

#92 Righty tighty, lefty loosey.

#116 At the close of each day, fill your head with thoughts of how lucky you are.

#111 Root for other people.

#135 When you drop someone off at home wait until he or she gets inside before driving away. – I could have used this piece of advice in high school when I dropped Megan off and drove away…only to have her get locked out of her house on a hot day, with her foot in a cast, and forced to hobble the half mile to my house.

#157 If you want to leave a party and you don’t have a good excuse, spill something on yourself. –Just make sure it’s not hot.

#225 You will get good at anything you practice.

#260 Sometimes you have to cry it out. –The laugh/cry, the ugly cry…whatever it takes.

#253 Pay no attention to the line of impossibility.

So much valuable advice that will save you trial/error/tears in the future. Check out Prudent Advice, the blog and buy the book here!

Random Rec Wednesday: MakeupAlley.com

26 Oct

I just discovered MakeupAlley.com and I don’t know how I’ve survived without it. Where was this site circa 1998 when I was rocking goopy hair mascara and over-accentuated lipliner? 

Why MakeupAlley.com is awesome:

 1. Product reviews from real people (as opposed to fake people).

Users log in and review every product you can imagine. Search products by highest rated, most reviewed, best value, newest, etc.

2. The rating system is denoted by a lipstick icon rather than the traditional (aka boring) star system.

“This eye shadow only got 2 ½ lipsticks? No thanks!”

3. They have Message Boards

Makeup Message Boards, you ask? Each board contains dialogue related to a specific subject related to beauty or lifestyle (i.e. bath and body, fragrance, hair care, nail care, cosmetic procedures, fitness, fashion, food…you get the idea). Members can dish on their advice or tips about beauty and lifestyle issues. An exception to the ‘don’t talk to strangers’ rule. Talk to strangers! They may save you heart brake, money, and your dignity (see: lipliner, above).

4. It’s cheap!

The site itself (and membership) is FREE, and the products reviewed range from the very low-end to the I’m-probably-going-to-overdraft-my-bank-account-but-I-need-this-face-cream. Hello, it got 5 lipsticks!

5. They have a swap system

Users can put items up on the swap board to (you guessed it) swap with other members. One girls trash is another girls treasure…or however that saying goes.

6. They fundraise for good causes

The MakeupAlley Angles Campaign is currently accepting donations for the Crisis Nursery, Inc. to help children and teen victims of abuse. Their goal is to raise 18,000k by the end of the year, so do your good deed for the day and donate!

You can join MakeupAlley here and thank me later.

You’re welcome!

Motivating Monday: More Girls in Video Games!

17 Oct

If you think writing letters and voicing your opinions won’t make a difference, check out this article from Bust.com, called Puck Yeah!

Fourteen-year-old Lexi Peters wrote to the CEO of EA Sports to voice her frustrations on the lack of female characters in video games.

Much to her surprise, not only did they listen to her, they created a female character that looks like her!

I love this.

Most video games are male dominated and if they have a female character it’s Barbie with a gun- a blonde with a miniature waist and huge boobs.

Who looks like that?!

I played video games growing up and  it was always awkward when there were multiple girl players and we all had to fight over who was going to be Chun Li or the Pink Power Ranger. Maybe girls would be more into video games if there were more female player options.

Then again, I’d still want to be Chun Li.

Why do people rely on their friends to hook them up?

14 Oct

Dear Losers,

Why do people rely on their friends to hook them up?

Lacey, 14

Dear Reader,

Because doing it yourself  is terrifying.

Have you ever tried it? You have. Interesting. Are you good at it? You are.  Would you like to try it for me?

Just kidding. No, I’m not. I’m kidding. Just kidding!

People rely on their friends because sometimes it’s easier to rely on a third party to make a love connection.

Isn’t that what friends, classmates,  and skywriters are for?

But I understand why you are annoyed.  It’s immature to have your friend do all the work.

It’s like in elementary school, when you have your friend pass a note in class.

Hey Billy,

Do you like Tricia? She totally didn’t ask me to ask you.  I was just curious. Also, can I borrow some .5 lead?

Respectfully,

Megan

Billy writes back, Yes!

Dear Tricia,

Yes, Billy likes you. And he thinks your hair is pretty. Can we go back to reading Bridge of Terabithia now? I plan on getting in to a good college, thanks.

Warm Regards,

Megan

While this process is annoying, someday you may need her to return the favor.

The problem is, face-to-face ask-outs can be really awkward, especially if you are forced to see that person everyday.

Hey Jill, do you want to wear my varsity jacket sometime?

No? Okay…well see you in P.E.!

Face-to friend-to-face ask-outs are way less awkward. You just have your friend figure out whether your crush likes you, and depending on the answer, you can all pretend like it never even happened!

I even experienced a face-to-friend-to face breakup once.

That is, my boyfriend sent his friend to break up with me for him. Yes, you heard right.  I was not asked out by some guy’s friend, but rather broken up with by one. Classy, right?It gets better.

Right after my boyfriend’s friend dumped me, he asked me to The Valentine’s Day dance. In the same conversation.

What?! Was this some kind of sick joke? I mean, I understand I’m single now, but give me a second. I’m still trying to wrap my head around

a. Being broken up with, and

b. Being broken up with by someone other than my boyfriend, and you are

c. Trying to ask me out?!

Unfortunately, this was way after Candid Camera and shortly before Punk’d, so I had no choice but to believe this was really happening. Sigh.  And like anyone with a shred of dignity, I said no. Well, I think my actual words were more like, “Um, uhhh, I…….don’t think I’m going.” And then I went. Muhahaha!

You just can’t turn your friend’s breakup into an ask-out. It’s tacky.

While I don’t recommend having your friends break up with someone for you, helping them make a love match isn’t so bad.

Hopefully, as adults they will get the courage to talk to the opposite sex on their own. Or they can take their adult money and pay someone.

But if you don’t feel comfortable doing your friend’s work for them, then don’t. Especially if it involves a break up.

 

If you like this post, please link to it on your Facebook or Twitter account! Or add it to StumbleSupon or Digg. Thanks!

Related Posts:

How Do I Meet Boys In College?

http://stopbeingaloser.org/2010/08/22/how-do-i-meet-boys-in-college/

How Do You Know When A Guy Is Hitting On You?

http://stopbeingaloser.org/2011/03/17/how-do-you-know-when-a-guy-is-hitting-on-you/