Tag Archives: advice

(Advice) Valentine’s Day: The Original Love/Hate Relationship

14 Feb

(Yes this is a repost from last year. It was a popular post, okay?! )

Today we present to you two opposing views on Valentine’s Day. (cue Law and Order music)

Love it.

By Megan

I love Valentine’s Day.

Love it. If it were a boy, I’d make out with it that’s how much I love this holiday.

But I don’t love it for the usual reasons. Valentine’s Day hasn’t been especially kind to me. In fact, it’s been downright cold to me. I can count the romantic Valentines days I’ve had on one hand. And by one hand, I mean like two fingers. I don’t know if this is the one day of the year I have unbearable B.O. or something, but whatever.

I will continue to love Valentine’s day whether or not it loves me back. Sort of like how a stalker unconditionally loves his stalkee.

If I could afford a therapist, she would probably tell me I love Valentines Day just to spite my ex-boyfriends.

Stereotypical Aunt/Kristen Wiig

And she would be right.

Why should I hate Valentine’s Day just  because they aren’t always fireworks and flowers? I refuse to give my power away and make Valentine’s Day only about romance, or boys, or a boyfriend who chose to spend Valentine’s Day with his aunt instead of me. True story :(.

I. Won’t. Hate. Valentine’s Day!

Isn’t that what unromantic guys want- a girl who hates Valentine’s Day? SCORE! Then they don’t have to show you any love on that day.

Boy 1: Hey Brad, you getting your girlfriend flowers for Valentine’s Day?

Boy 2 : (Excitedly) Nah, man. She hates it!

Boy 1 : @%$*^ awesome, man! Congrats! (They high five)

Brilliant, ladies! Let’s abstain from Valentine’s Day to prove the point that we should be romantic everyday………..by not doing anything romantic TODAY!

Congratulations, you make no sense.

I think people who hate Valentine’s Day are missing the point.

Point: Valentine’s Day is so cheesy.

Counterpoint: So is that romantic comedy you watch in bed every February 14. But that doesn’t stop you from hitting play. And you don’t have to be cheesy to celebrate. No one is forcing you to buy  the entire Valentine’s aisle at Rite Aid. You can get as creative or uncreative as you want.

Point: Why should we celebrate love just one day of the year, or when corporate America tells us to? We should do it all the time.

Counterpoint: But we don’t. So we should at LEAST do it once a year. One is better than none! If anything, we should have more Valentine’s days, not less. Like once a month. 12  celebrations of love instead of zero. You do the math.

Point: I’m going to celebrate love by opting out of the national celebration of it!!

Counterpoint: Well pin a red  rose on your nose. That is very original. Let me guess, you’re wearing black too? And out with your single girlfriends looking for guys? Hmm.. looks a lot like a celebration… and looking for love  if you ask me.

As I was saying, I don’t think Valentine’s Day is about whether you have a significant other or not. It’s not just about romance. It’s about love. Love for your family and your friends and the crabby old lady down the street. Love for funfetti cupcakes, and cinnamon gummy hearts and the chance to wear red and pink together and not get dirty looks. And love for candy that is half-off on February 15.

My best Valentine memories don’t involve boyfriends at all. (Sorry). My best memories are when friends and family made my day special. Like when my friend, Ryan bought each of us girls a single rose, in case we didn’t get one from anyone else. Or when my friends, Wayne and Greg took me and another friend to P.F. Chang’s because none of us had Valentine’s. Hey, pity Valentine’s are just as good as real ones.

I truly love this place.

But my favorite memory is from first grade. It was the morning of Valentine’s Day, and I ran out of platonic-sounding cards for the boys in my class. Obviously, I was devastated! Even at that age, I didn’t want boys to get the wrong idea. But my Dad saved the day. As I cried and panicked about being late to school, he wrote messages like, “You’re nice, Classmate! Happy Valentine’s Day!” which we glued on top of flirty sayings like “Be MINE, Valentine.”

Now that’s love.

..In a platonic way ONLY!

In conclusion, I think everyone needs to get over getting over Valentine’s Day. If you don’t have a date, it’s probably the best day of the year to get one. My friends threw a party on Valentine’s Day one year and you would have thought we were giving away free NFL tickets. It was Boy City!

If you go out on Valentine’s Day, guys are extremely friendly because they know you are single.  Or that you have a boyfriend who is out of town, which is basically the same thing.  Am I right?!

Just kidding. But really, you should go out on Valentine’s Day if you’re looking for love.

And if you aren’t, Valentine’s Day is a great excuse to mope and not be judged for it. Or to spend time with your aunt.

Hate it.

By Tricia

First of all, let me say I am a sucker for romance. I am always down for a cheesy romantic comedy and I love hearing stories of how people got engaged/fell in love. I have seen The Notebook more times than I can count…don’t judge me.

Yet strangely enough, I detest Valentine’s Day. With a passion. I am not bitter. I am not a creepy cat lady (no offense to cat lovers, creepy or not). I just don’t understand it.

Who says we have to show our affection on February 14th? I want random romance. Not obligatory romance because the calendar says so! Crowded restaurants, overpriced food, naked cherub decorations, cheesy mainstream gifts…it is so predictable. You can show your love any damn day of the year. Why romance because Hallmark says so?

Hallmark rep.

I’m all about more romance, but how about you get creative and romance on a random unexpected day? OoOhhh aaHhhhh.

The holiday has become so commercialized. It takes away from the real purpose, the genuine romance. Right after businesses put away their Christmas stuff, out comes all the Valentine’s Day goods. Red and pink decorations everywhere you look. Conversation hearts on every display. Red roses in full force. Despite being unable to escape the commerciality lurking in every store window, we will all wait until the last minute to make any plans, thus guaranteeing a night of stress and predictability.

“To stress and predictability!”

Guy- Hey, let’s get dressed up, drive to an expensive overcrowded restaurant where we won’t be able to find parking so I’ll end up shelling out some cash to the valet. Then we will wait for an hour and a half for a table even though we made reservations three weeks in advance. We’ll order small portioned overly priced food and I’ll order an expensive bottle of champagne from our rude and sarcastic waitress who is taking out her anger of being scheduled to work Valentine’s night out on the patrons.

We’ll wait another 45 minutes for our mediocre food and then order chocolate covered strawberries for dessert while we wait another 30 minutes for our bill and I’ll shell out some more cash, which will put me into debt for the next month. Oh wait, I got you a dozen red roses and a heart shaped box of chocolates. Love you!

Girl- Awww. You’re so sweet! Red roses and heart shaped chocolate? How’d you know?!

Guys don’t need to spend a lot of money to show they care. By all means they should save their cash and get creative. It’s the little things that matter most to me. And, if a guy is going to go the predictable mainstream route, he should at least try to mix it up. Please, spare me the diabetes ridden chocolate sampler. And if you’re going to get me flowers, find out what kind of flowers I like. Don’t show up on my door with a dozen red roses. I mean, it’s a nice gesture but I know you can do better! There’s no element of surprise with red roses and a heart shaped box of chocolates.

My dad only gives my mom flowers on her birthday, Valentine’s Day and on their anniversary. Never on a random day of the year. Never just for fun. Never just for romance. Granted, my dad isn’t Rico Suave, but he tries. I give him credit for always remembering and being prepared for those occasions, but guys should also go the extra mile and catch you off guard once in a while. Genuine romance/love isn’t something that can be forced or planned. It should come naturally and guys should want to romance you!

No, I couldn’t do a Valentine’s Day post without inserting a picture from The Notebook

I know not all guys are big on foo foo girly romance, but if a guy really likes you he will do what he has to if whether that involves foo foo girly romance or not. If he’s not doing things to show you he cares, he probably doesn’t.  And I don’t mean to put all the pressure on guys. We girls need to go the extra mile and show we care too. Sharing is caring and it’s a two way street.

Valentine’s Day reminds me of high school Spirit Week. The week starts out as being about class and school unity and ends up being a big competition and rivalry between the classes. By the end of the week no one remembers what the week’s purpose is and each class ends up hating the others, but they’ll all be back to do it again next year as scheduled! Yay! That’s the spirit!

Girl 1: Yeah my boyfriend took me to Outback for Valentine’s Day. The steak was so good!

Girl 2: Oh, really? My boyfriend took me to Paris. You know, like Paris, France? Anyway, sounds like you had fun!

Girl 1: Oh. Yeah…..

In conclusion…

What’s your take- Do you love Valentine’s Day or hate it? Let us know below!


Dating DOs and DON’Ts

11 Nov

Dear Losers, 

I know this sounds stupid, but I honestly know nothing about dating and I have a date next week. I’m totally freaked out. Any advice?

Corrine, 16

Dear Reader,

There is no need to fear dating. Yes, dating is awkward, stressful, and emotionally taxing. But it can also be promising or painfully hilarious. Here’s a list of dating DO’s and DON’Ts to make you shine on the field.


-Pick out your outfit ahead of time and dress for the occasion. Dating is stressful enough. No need to assault your room with your whole closet as if you are shooting it through a t-shirt gun.

Why is she in the line of fire?!

Decide what you are going to wear the day before and try it on. You never know if you need to iron it or have an unsightly stain on it. (True story). Or if you still have the tag on. (Another true story.)

-Meet him there. If you don’t know the guy well, don’t give him your address and/or get in a vehicle with him! Hello, stranger danger! Your safety always comes first. And always tell someone where you’re going.

-Be yourself, be be yourself! Don’t say you like to watch sports with the boys if you don’t. If you like to knit and read, say so! Unless you only like to read dating books…keep that under wraps until at least date four. And completely hide them if he comes over. Though I did have a boyfriend that looked awesomely terrified when he saw “Why Men Love Bitches” on my bookshelf. Maybe keep that one out.

-Eat smart. Don’t order the baby back ribs or spaghetti bolognese unless you’re prepared to wear it home or spritz him with it like it’s after shave.

As my sister and I say when we’re eating a messy meal, ‘NOT a date food!’ (And then we commence eating like cavemen.)

-Demand respect. If you and your time are not being respected, make like a banana and rot. I mean, split.

-Keep your chops in check. Always check your teeth and carry a breath freshening product on your person. No one wants to be remembered as Halitosis Heather.

Mentos, the FRESHMAKER!


-Expect he’s going to pay. I think it’s chivalrous for the guy to pay. And I’ll be honest, I think he should pay, especially if he asked you out. But, there’s no universal rule here. (Thanks a lot, CONGRESS!) And people aren’t always on the same page.  Sometimes, both parties don’t even agree it’s a date. Nightmare scenario, but it happens. So offer to pay for your own ice cream/lobster/coffee. If he’s eager for you to pay, expects you to pay his share, or just plain asks you for cash, you can decide whether you want to go out with him again.

-Bring up past relationships. That’s what they do on MTV dating shows- for ratings. It’s not first date talk in the real world. Unless you are dating your therapist. In which case you should probably find a new date and therapist.

-Meet in a secluded place until you are certain he’s not a serial killer. It’s just not safe. Plus, awkward silence is all the more awkward when there’s no background noise.

-Flake last minute. I get it. Stuff happens and sometimes you have to cancel. But only cancel the day of if you have a good reason. “I’m just not feeling flirty today” is not a great reason. Though it would be hilarious to say and he might give you points for honesty. He might also not ask you again. (At least you have the points!)

Dooooooon't flake! (Sorry, had to.)

-String a guy along to be ‘nice.’ It’s not nice. It’s mean. Just be honest. If you aren’t into him, that’s okay. There are plenty of ways to let him know without destroying his ability to love again.

Whether you love dating or hate it, it’s something we all have to do; like going to the dentist or paying taxes. So you might as well be a smart and savvy dater. And remember, bad dates = great stories.

If you like this post, please link to it on your Facebook or Twitter account! Or add it to StumbleSupon or Digg. Thanks!

Related Posts:

What’s a good thing to wear on a first date?


What do you do if a date is really bad and you want to leave?


I feel so behind. Help!

30 Sep

Dear Losers,

I feel so behind. I consider myself an accomplished person, an overachiever. But when I see kids doing crazy things- starting companies, getting perfect SAT scores, being a star athlete, I can’t help but compare myself and feel bad. It’s just overwhelming.

Lisa, 18

Dear Reader,

 Oh my gosh, I know.

It is overwhelming. People are doing things younger and faster.  Soon there will be genius zygotes admitted to Harvard because their prenatal SAT scores were just that good.

Hi, Mom! Nice to meet you. Good news. I got into Harvard!

But that’s something the rest of us teens and adults are just going to have to deal with.

Here are some thoughts that might help you.

1. You’re not behind. You’re just at the beginning.

Everyone successful started somewhere. But instead of seeing their journey, you’re seeing their glamorous end result. If you’re feeling behind, it’s probably because you’re at the beginning of a new journey and looking way too far ahead.


Of course you’d feel behind if you’re standing at the start line of a marathon and staring 26.2 miles in the distance. But you can’t jump to the finish line. Look at the journey ahead with promise, not dread.

2. Almost everyone I know feels “behind” in some way.

Really. Even the most accomplished person you know may feel behind. Because when someone is accomplishing something, they often feel like they’re falling behind in something else.

For example,  some people excel at a skill, but feel behind socially.

Some people have a great social life, but think their career is a hot mess.

And some people have it all. Jerks.

Just kidding. If someone does seem to have it all, it’s because they are putting a lot of time and effort into everything. Which brings me to my next point.

3. To accomplish anything, it requires time and effort.

If you haven’t put much time or effort into anything, why are you beating yourself up and expecting these huge results? Give it time and effort. It’s a prerequisite for accomplishing anything.

3. Are you doing something to compete and get bragging rights, or are you doing it because you want to do it?

Hopefully, youre doing something because you want to do it. So stop making it about where you are in relation to other people.

Oprah on Master Class talked about how people have the tendency to make everything a race. When she started her show, everyone was like, What are you doing? You can’t beat Phil Donahue!

And she was like, Awesome.  Then I won’t worry about beating Phil Donahue. Or being Phil Donahue.  So suck it. (I’m paraphrasing, obviously.)

“The way you step up your game is not to worry about the other guy in any situation, because you can’t control the other guy. You only have control over yourself. So it’s like running a race. The energy that it takes to look back and see where the other guys are takes energy away from you. And if they’re too close, it scares you. So, that’s what I would say to my team all the time: Don’t waste your time in the race looking back to see where the other guy is or what the other guy is doing. It’s not about the other guy. It’s about what can you do. You just need to run that race as hard as you can. You need to give it everything you’ve got, all the time, for yourself.” -Oprah

4. Urgency is great. Panic is not.

You don’t want to pursue something in a leisurely, fa-la-la pace.

The hills are alive! But my life's a mess! Fa la la la!

Urgency is great. It displays fire in the belly. But when you try so hard to speed things up that you panic, that actually slows you down. Take deep breaths. Dance around on a hill. It’s going to be okay.

5. Stop worrying about  timelines and tradition.

Neither of these things exist because they are logical.
So you thought you could plan everything out. You can’t.
Or you thought you’d  follow a traditional path. And you didn’t.

So what? Let people judge you. It’s your life. There were gray-haired students in a lot of my classes at UCLA.


And I thought that was harder and more commendable than every other 18 -year -old like me who followed the high acheiver rule book and got in on time. They had the guts to go back to school, and who knows maybe even a frat part or two. That’s awesome!

So maybe you’re not behind. Maybe you’re just out of order. Or breaking tradition. Even more awesome!

Everyone has their own checklist, so there’s no need to make it a race, or a scavenger hunt.

Appreciate what you have checked off and accomplished, instead of panicking about everything you haven’t yet.

If you like this post, please link to it on your Facebook or Twitter account! Or add it to StumbleSupon or Digg. Thanks!

Related Posts:

Success for Dummies and Smarties


Tomorrow is Today!


Motivating Monday: How NOT to succeed

22 Aug

Kathryn Stockett, author of The Help, was rejected 60 times before getting the one yes that changed her career and life.

60 TIMES. To state the obvious, that’s a lot.

Do you have a passion that you gave up because you hated rejection? If you did, I bet you didn’t get rejected 60 times. Many would have given up in her situation. And imagine if she did!

Kathryn wrote an article about her years of rejection and it is such great advice that you’re going to just have to click on the link to read it for yourself. Please do. It’s an entertaining and inspiring story.

Here’s an excerpt:

“The point is, I can’t tell you how to succeed. But I can tell you how not to: Give in to the shame of being rejected and put your manuscript—or painting, song, voice, dance moves, [insert passion here]—in the coffin that is your bedside drawer and close it for good. I guarantee you that it won’t take you anywhere. Or you could do what this writer did: Give in to your obsession instead.”

Kathryn Stockett- The Help Was Turned Down 60 Times Before Becoming a Bestseller

And go see The Help. I loved it! Or read the book.

I haven’t yet, but I’m going to, okay?

Quite Possibly the Shortest Advice Book Ever

19 Sep

I hate when even a good movie is long.

Me: That movie was sooooooooo long!

Friend: It was about the Crimean War.

Me: I know. It was sooooooooo long! And what was with Brad Pitt’s hair?!

Well Paul Arden’s book, It’s Not How Good You Are, It’s How Good You Want to Be does not have that problem.

Instead, it is awesome. And the title says it all. It’s not how good you are (though let’s not get crazy, being good helps.)

Have you ever met someone that has accomplished a lot or is extremely popular and you expected them to have a golden aura, perfect SAT scores, or at least a pleasant personality? But instead, you realized they are just human (and/or annoying/insane.)

If you haven’t experienced this yet you will. Over and over again. And instead of finding it discouraging, you should find it motivating. I find myself saying all the time, If that idiot can do it, SO CAN I! (Though not out loud, because that is rude.)

Or have you ever come across a simple idea and thought, WHY didn’t I think of that? Or worse, Hey, I thought of that!

Well then this book is for you.

Now I’m not trying to undermine or delegitimize successful people. I’m not a Bitter Betty and I am happy for anyone who becomes successful (as long as they aren’t a huge jerk…). I’m simply saying you are probably able to pull off more than you think.

The author, Paul Arden talks about how often successful people are not necessarily the most talented people. They aren’t necessarily the smartest and they probably didn’t win “Most Likely to Succeed.” They have the biggest, I mean they are the boldest people. As it says on the Barnes and Noble website, the book is  “a pocket bible for the talented and timid to help make the unthinkable and the impossible possible.”

So don’t get down on yourself because you didn’t get straight A’s, weren’t the most popular, or weren’t the best at any particular thing. Those things aren’t a prereq for success. Even the Bill Gates of the world mess up.

This book report is almost as long as the book, so you should probably just read the real thing.