Tag Archives: love

(Advice) Valentine’s Day: The Original Love/Hate Relationship

14 Feb

(Yes this is a repost from last year. It was a popular post, okay?! )

Today we present to you two opposing views on Valentine’s Day. (cue Law and Order music)

Love it.

By Megan

I love Valentine’s Day.

Love it. If it were a boy, I’d make out with it that’s how much I love this holiday.

But I don’t love it for the usual reasons. Valentine’s Day hasn’t been especially kind to me. In fact, it’s been downright cold to me. I can count the romantic Valentines days I’ve had on one hand. And by one hand, I mean like two fingers. I don’t know if this is the one day of the year I have unbearable B.O. or something, but whatever.

I will continue to love Valentine’s day whether or not it loves me back. Sort of like how a stalker unconditionally loves his stalkee.

If I could afford a therapist, she would probably tell me I love Valentines Day just to spite my ex-boyfriends.

Stereotypical Aunt/Kristen Wiig

And she would be right.

Why should I hate Valentine’s Day just  because they aren’t always fireworks and flowers? I refuse to give my power away and make Valentine’s Day only about romance, or boys, or a boyfriend who chose to spend Valentine’s Day with his aunt instead of me. True story :(.

I. Won’t. Hate. Valentine’s Day!

Isn’t that what unromantic guys want- a girl who hates Valentine’s Day? SCORE! Then they don’t have to show you any love on that day.

Boy 1: Hey Brad, you getting your girlfriend flowers for Valentine’s Day?

Boy 2 : (Excitedly) Nah, man. She hates it!

Boy 1 : @%$*^ awesome, man! Congrats! (They high five)

Brilliant, ladies! Let’s abstain from Valentine’s Day to prove the point that we should be romantic everyday………..by not doing anything romantic TODAY!

Congratulations, you make no sense.

I think people who hate Valentine’s Day are missing the point.

Point: Valentine’s Day is so cheesy.

Counterpoint: So is that romantic comedy you watch in bed every February 14. But that doesn’t stop you from hitting play. And you don’t have to be cheesy to celebrate. No one is forcing you to buy  the entire Valentine’s aisle at Rite Aid. You can get as creative or uncreative as you want.

Point: Why should we celebrate love just one day of the year, or when corporate America tells us to? We should do it all the time.

Counterpoint: But we don’t. So we should at LEAST do it once a year. One is better than none! If anything, we should have more Valentine’s days, not less. Like once a month. 12  celebrations of love instead of zero. You do the math.

Point: I’m going to celebrate love by opting out of the national celebration of it!!

Counterpoint: Well pin a red  rose on your nose. That is very original. Let me guess, you’re wearing black too? And out with your single girlfriends looking for guys? Hmm.. looks a lot like a celebration… and looking for love  if you ask me.

As I was saying, I don’t think Valentine’s Day is about whether you have a significant other or not. It’s not just about romance. It’s about love. Love for your family and your friends and the crabby old lady down the street. Love for funfetti cupcakes, and cinnamon gummy hearts and the chance to wear red and pink together and not get dirty looks. And love for candy that is half-off on February 15.

My best Valentine memories don’t involve boyfriends at all. (Sorry). My best memories are when friends and family made my day special. Like when my friend, Ryan bought each of us girls a single rose, in case we didn’t get one from anyone else. Or when my friends, Wayne and Greg took me and another friend to P.F. Chang’s because none of us had Valentine’s. Hey, pity Valentine’s are just as good as real ones.

I truly love this place.

But my favorite memory is from first grade. It was the morning of Valentine’s Day, and I ran out of platonic-sounding cards for the boys in my class. Obviously, I was devastated! Even at that age, I didn’t want boys to get the wrong idea. But my Dad saved the day. As I cried and panicked about being late to school, he wrote messages like, “You’re nice, Classmate! Happy Valentine’s Day!” which we glued on top of flirty sayings like “Be MINE, Valentine.”

Now that’s love.

..In a platonic way ONLY!

In conclusion, I think everyone needs to get over getting over Valentine’s Day. If you don’t have a date, it’s probably the best day of the year to get one. My friends threw a party on Valentine’s Day one year and you would have thought we were giving away free NFL tickets. It was Boy City!

If you go out on Valentine’s Day, guys are extremely friendly because they know you are single.  Or that you have a boyfriend who is out of town, which is basically the same thing.  Am I right?!

Just kidding. But really, you should go out on Valentine’s Day if you’re looking for love.

And if you aren’t, Valentine’s Day is a great excuse to mope and not be judged for it. Or to spend time with your aunt.

Hate it.

By Tricia

First of all, let me say I am a sucker for romance. I am always down for a cheesy romantic comedy and I love hearing stories of how people got engaged/fell in love. I have seen The Notebook more times than I can count…don’t judge me.

Yet strangely enough, I detest Valentine’s Day. With a passion. I am not bitter. I am not a creepy cat lady (no offense to cat lovers, creepy or not). I just don’t understand it.

Who says we have to show our affection on February 14th? I want random romance. Not obligatory romance because the calendar says so! Crowded restaurants, overpriced food, naked cherub decorations, cheesy mainstream gifts…it is so predictable. You can show your love any damn day of the year. Why romance because Hallmark says so?

Hallmark rep.

I’m all about more romance, but how about you get creative and romance on a random unexpected day? OoOhhh aaHhhhh.

The holiday has become so commercialized. It takes away from the real purpose, the genuine romance. Right after businesses put away their Christmas stuff, out comes all the Valentine’s Day goods. Red and pink decorations everywhere you look. Conversation hearts on every display. Red roses in full force. Despite being unable to escape the commerciality lurking in every store window, we will all wait until the last minute to make any plans, thus guaranteeing a night of stress and predictability.

“To stress and predictability!”

Guy- Hey, let’s get dressed up, drive to an expensive overcrowded restaurant where we won’t be able to find parking so I’ll end up shelling out some cash to the valet. Then we will wait for an hour and a half for a table even though we made reservations three weeks in advance. We’ll order small portioned overly priced food and I’ll order an expensive bottle of champagne from our rude and sarcastic waitress who is taking out her anger of being scheduled to work Valentine’s night out on the patrons.

We’ll wait another 45 minutes for our mediocre food and then order chocolate covered strawberries for dessert while we wait another 30 minutes for our bill and I’ll shell out some more cash, which will put me into debt for the next month. Oh wait, I got you a dozen red roses and a heart shaped box of chocolates. Love you!

Girl- Awww. You’re so sweet! Red roses and heart shaped chocolate? How’d you know?!

Guys don’t need to spend a lot of money to show they care. By all means they should save their cash and get creative. It’s the little things that matter most to me. And, if a guy is going to go the predictable mainstream route, he should at least try to mix it up. Please, spare me the diabetes ridden chocolate sampler. And if you’re going to get me flowers, find out what kind of flowers I like. Don’t show up on my door with a dozen red roses. I mean, it’s a nice gesture but I know you can do better! There’s no element of surprise with red roses and a heart shaped box of chocolates.

My dad only gives my mom flowers on her birthday, Valentine’s Day and on their anniversary. Never on a random day of the year. Never just for fun. Never just for romance. Granted, my dad isn’t Rico Suave, but he tries. I give him credit for always remembering and being prepared for those occasions, but guys should also go the extra mile and catch you off guard once in a while. Genuine romance/love isn’t something that can be forced or planned. It should come naturally and guys should want to romance you!

No, I couldn’t do a Valentine’s Day post without inserting a picture from The Notebook

I know not all guys are big on foo foo girly romance, but if a guy really likes you he will do what he has to if whether that involves foo foo girly romance or not. If he’s not doing things to show you he cares, he probably doesn’t.  And I don’t mean to put all the pressure on guys. We girls need to go the extra mile and show we care too. Sharing is caring and it’s a two way street.

Valentine’s Day reminds me of high school Spirit Week. The week starts out as being about class and school unity and ends up being a big competition and rivalry between the classes. By the end of the week no one remembers what the week’s purpose is and each class ends up hating the others, but they’ll all be back to do it again next year as scheduled! Yay! That’s the spirit!

Girl 1: Yeah my boyfriend took me to Outback for Valentine’s Day. The steak was so good!

Girl 2: Oh, really? My boyfriend took me to Paris. You know, like Paris, France? Anyway, sounds like you had fun!

Girl 1: Oh. Yeah…..

In conclusion…

What’s your take- Do you love Valentine’s Day or hate it? Let us know below!

What Do You Do if a Date is Really Bad and You Want to Leave?

12 Sep

Dear Losers,

What do you do if a date is really bad and you want to leave?

Taylor, 19

Dear Reader,

Depends on what kind of bad. If it’s just awkward bad, or you don’t have butterflies bad, I suggest you stay. Not every date is going to be great, or fun. We all have nightmare dating stories, so you might as well start collecting your own.

Here’s one of mine, for inspiration.

I once went on a date with a guy a few years my junior.

I’ll admit I was hesitant, but I didn’t want to be closed minded and yes, okay, he worked for a country music magazine and said he could get me free tickets. So I went.

I know.

I was not expecting anything fancy, but after driving 30 minutes to meet him, I expected something a bit more noteworthy than Fuddruckers, a chain in my OWN TOWN.

To make matters worse, he acted like a huge jerk, bragging about himself the whole time, and not asking me any questions. It was as if he was an actor performing a monologue, but one that was not interesting. I grinned and bared his behavior, even after he answered a phone call from another girl, flirted with the girl at length, then hung up and said the girl was TOTALLY stalking him.

Uh yeah, you can’t stalk the willing, Buddy.

Semantics aside, after what seemed like an eternity, the date ended. And he didn’t even walk me to my car, or watch me walk to my car. No, no. That would have been too easy. Well-mannered, even. Instead, he dropped me off at the entrance to the parking garage.

Rude.com/whereareyouremanners/unsafe

And then he burned out.

I know what you’re thinking. How could I let the man of my dreams walk, excuse me, burn out of my life like that?

Anyway, yes good manners dictate that you would stay on the date even if you want to leave. Afterall, it is the classy thing to do because no one likes to be stood up, or ditched.

But there are a few fun exceptions. 🙂

1. If you are being mistreated in any way, leave. If Johnny Jerk is being mean, rude or out of control, you do not need to stay. I probably could have ditched that toddler at Fuddruckers, but I guess I really wanted my Oreo milkshake?

2.  If you don’t feel safe, leave.  Chances are you don’t know this person well, s0 don’t feel obligated to hangout with a stranger if they seem creepy, dangerous or ill-intentioned. Trust your instincts. And if you don’t know the person well, suggest meeting them on the date.

If you came together, and you’re getting creepo vibes, say something came up, and call someone to pick you up. Always have a cab programmed in your phone as well in case all of your friends are on bad dates too. And tell your friends and family exactly where you are going before you leave.

Otherwise, grin and bear it. It’s a first date, and there doesn’t have to be a second. And actually, you can avoid agonizing and awkward dates by taking control of the situation in the beginning and keeping your plans short and simple.

Don’t commit your whole evening or day to a guy you barely know. Stick to dinner or a movie, not both. Coffee or ice cream even works. If you’re having the time of your lives you crazy kids can always extend the date or plan another one.

And if you don’t want to extend the date, or you want to cut the date short, you can simply say you have other plans. No need for a crazy excuse or an iPhone app that calls your phone.  And this way you were polite and stayed for the whole date, even though it was short. See how smart(/sneaky) you are!

Just steer clear of first dates that sound like, I was thinking we could go hiking and find this hidden waterfall, skip rocks and talk about our childhoods, cross the Bridge to Terabithia, then take the tram over to the Getty and find the Kogi Truck downtown.

And he’s going to bring you back when? NEXT WEEK?!

In conclusion, choose your dates wisely, plan your dates wisely, and never hope for free concert tickets.

And if you’re stuck on a bad date, just remember…. the worst dates make the best stories.

How Do I Meet Boys in College?

22 Aug

Dear Losers,

How do I meet boys in college?

Ava, 19

Dear Reader,

I’m sorry, did you mean college or your small agrarian community?

College is the easiest place to meet guys, maybe EVER. It’s only downhill from there. I’m not saying to focus more on your MRS than your BA/BS. No no. Your education frees you from actually needing a man, so please concentrate.

But take advantage of the added perks while you can! In college, you essentially live in a town where everyone is around your age and your SAT score. BO-NUS! Not even match.com can provide that kind of service.

After college, you’re stuck meeting people at your workplace, the bar scene or the produce aisle.

You 4 years from now: Oh wow, you like romaine lettuce too! No way! Did you know it has the highest nutritional content of all…. Okay well…um, nice talking to you!

It’s great to seize the opportunity to talk to someone, no matter how lame the Snapple Real Fact. (Snapple Real Facts) But college is a place where you don’t have to find common ground over what’s in your grocery cart. You have common ground with everyone (See: Pending Diploma, Weird Roommates, Extra Long Twin Sized Jersey Sheets etc), you just need to put yourself in the right places. Let me give you advice from a guy.

A friend/male once told me, Girls complain about not meeting guys, but I really think they discount the power of location.

And he makes a good point.

I had friends that loved going to clubs, but complained that they only met huge tools.

Do we really need to connect the dots?!

So there are the traditional collegiate locations to meet boys- class, dorm activities, study groups, social clubs, on campus jobs, games and parties. Get out there and take advantage! But you can also get creative. Assess your situation and devise a gameplan. Ask yourself what kind of boys you like and how you might be able to meet them. For instance, if you like tools, then hit up the clubs, or a local toolshed.

If you’re into the premed type, then you might want to hang out on that side of campus or learn about the chemical properties of dry ice.

If you’re into outdoorsy manly men then go to games, outdoor activities or lumberjack competitions.

If you like skinny jean/emo/hipster guys go see random bands, hit up a thrift store…or just meander around Berkeley, CA. You’re not going to find a hipster in guyliner playing rugby with the frat boys.

I know this all sounds creepy and calculated, and that’s because it is. But it’s also smart. Like you, College Girl. Let’s practice with a fill-in- the- blank. ( Sentence completions are on the GRE’s, afterall)

If I only hang out on the all-girls floor I will only meet ____________.

If I only hangout in my dorm room I will only meet _______________.

If I never leave my floor, I will NEVER meet ___________

(1. girls, 2. oh yeah, NOBODY!, 3. NEW BOYS!! )

If you’re just looking for new boys in general, you’re going to have to leave your bunk bed and find new places to hang out. You’re going to have to drop the Rapunzel Syndrome (I just made that up!). You know the I’m in my tower/dorm room so come rescue me from my solitude/MCD Bio midterm.

Even studying in a new library or a different study hall will open you up to new people.

And it goes without saying that you need to be friendly- to your neighbors, your classmates, your elevator mates. There’s nothing wrong with striking up a conversation with someone. Make friends and get to know your fellow alumni. It’s much easier than you think. When you make friends, you soon make friends with their friends. And they might just be friends with an eligible boy.

You can start by asking someone about the class they are taking, what their major is, or brace yourself for this one, you can just introduce yourself. Remember how friendly everyone was on the first day? Well who says that has to stop? If they look at you weird, they’re weird! (Or you have something on your face.)

In summation, fortune favors the bold. So unless you are pining after Mr. Noodle, your dreamboy is not going to come knocking on your door.

Carpe Diem. Or just take a Latin class and hope there are cute boys in it.

What Do You Think About Dating A Friend’s Ex?

25 Jul

Dear Losers,

What do you think about dating a friend’s ex? This is a huge issue at my high school!

Zoe, 17

Dear Reader,

Well for starters, AVOID IT AT ALL COSTS!

Have you ever seen Gossip Girl?

Of course you have. Don’t you find it ridiculous that the series regulars all date each other as if there is no one else on the planet, or Manhattan? And don’t you find it creepy that they rarely make a big deal about it? Lets take the Nate/Blair/Serena triangle.

Nate dates Blair, cheats on her with Serena, gets back together with Blair. Then Nate dates Serena. They have a hot makeout scene on a kitchen counter, then break up. Nate forgets there are more then two women on earth, so he falls back in love with Blair, buys her a penthouse apartment and asks her to move in with him. Blair is creeped out and confused, and she (spoiler alert) BREAKS UP WITH HIM. Then Nate is back to Serena, but she’s already in the Hamptons with his cousin. Who is married.

And somehow, through all this Boyfriend Hot Potato, B and S remain best friends.

No one on the show so much as whispers, Umm, this is freaking awkward…!!! Rather, it’s as if Serena and Blair find it amusing. I wouldn’t be surprised if they started a betting pool for Nate’s next move.

Serena: I’m going to say Nate hits on you by noon on Sunday.
Blair: No way! He just bought me a loft in Soho last episode. I’m putting down $50 that Nate proposes to you by midnight.

Unfortunately, things are rarely this simple and amicable in real life. Though that’s not to say they never are. I know some people that have dated a friend’s ex and all parties were mature about it and remained besties. But you can’t guarantee that, so don’t go jeopardizing friendships left and right just because you want a boyfriend, any boyfriend.

Merry- Go- Round dating works in Gossip Girl for a few very specific reasons.

a.) It’s a soap opera

b.) They need to use their series regulars, so obvi they are all going to end up dating each other.

c.) As viewers,we find these love triangles, or love octagons, entertaining. (Until we don’t, and then the show gets cancelled.) And…

d.) They throw in guest stars every so often, so we don’t think it’s too gross. And so Nate has someone new to date for a few episodes.

But you’re not Gossip Girl. So avoid starring in your own soap opera, and find some new boys/guest stars. I know it’s hard in high school, but go to another high school’s party. Get friendly at a football game. Hang out at a different Chili’s.

If worst comes to worst, and you still can’t deny your feelings for that “series regular”, well then do what you must. But keep it classy and talk to your friend about dating her ex. Because we all know how embarrassing it is to get a text from Gossip Girl first….

Uh Oh. Looks like S borrowed B’s bracelet. And stole B’s boyfriend……

You know you love me.

XOXO

Gossip Girl